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madame

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Disappoint

Friday, January 13, 2012 10:41 PM

i think my self esteem is getting lower and lower. well. i'll explain that later. went to gym early in the morning. all the guys are late == haha. so syah roliah and me jsut wen to gym first. we didnt dare to enter haha. cause got guys inside. so ps sia. chang! how you go alone sia. after that did some exercises. others did alot sia. haha i feel so weak. im a burden haha. then went to someplace to eat beehoon from home. hidayat was saying he hates those girl wearing super short shorts and super big shirt. he say very ugly. then i look at myself. then i ask him, "my shorts is not super short and my shirt is not super big right?" HAHA cause i was wearing sp shirt and shorts. then everyone just burst out laughing!! anyway. went for lessons after that (: then home. then went for tuition. again, talk talk talk. hahahah. only do two questions only! tsk tsk. went for dancing lessons after that.

ok! i shall explain now. the reason i feel like a failure is because of all the things im currently doing. one by one ok?

studying - its not a major problem, but im not coping well. well. this had become a minor problem already.

piano - well! this is just one major problem!! why am i still learning this! i really freaking lousy at this! im not bringing myself down or what, but if you know how to play piano, you will see how lousy i am. even normal people at grade one can play a song in one day. me? one month also cnot.

dancing - hmm, im not a great dancer and i admit, but everyone just catches up so fast that i feel that im being a burden wanting the teacher to repeat over and over again.

working - both tuition and guardian.. i dont even have a day to rest totally at home like after school. surprisingly, i dont feel tired at all. but i dont know anything at work other than the cashier! what for?! you cant do closing! work how long alr? and can only work for like what? one day per week? T.T

i know when the future soon arrive, i have to drop one of these. a cca is a must for uni right? im even planning to take a dip plus. oh dear, im just suiciding. i know there's not such word. i cant bear to give up any as they are all dear to me even though im bad at them T.T hardwork counts right. i'll try my best. but i think im just pushing myself off the limits. sometimes, trying too hard will only make it worst. but thats just sometime.